Taking Control: How to Take Back Power over Your Life

Today we want to talk about the idea of control, especially that feeling like one has no control. It is a helpless feeling, but a feeling we may find ourselves in more often than we would like. It is easy to allow life to take over and feel like we become victims of our circumstances. When we feel like we have no control over our lives we start to develop a lack mindset, slowly start to fill ourselves with negative affirmations, and allow feelings of sadness to take hold.

We have all been there. SO- the only way to get out of the rut is to change our thinking. Once we change our thinking we are better equipped to get out of the situation. We start to feel empowered and begin to take ownership of our lives. We realize that we are the creators of our reality and actively stop letting people and situations dictate us.

Grounding

First, when I am overwhelmed with life I start off by taking a moment to clear my mind. I like to ground myself. Meditation is helpful. Sometimes, you just need to breathe. When we are stressed we can be irrational and make things 100% worse. Once I have more clarity I start to make 2 types of lists. The first list is gratitude and the second list is of things I can control.

Gratitude

It doesn’t matter what list you choose to do first. I like to do gratitude because it makes me feel like all of the work I have done is worth it. It makes me think of how lucky I am and promotes the mental clarity needed to come up with my game plan for the second list. In your gratitude list write down every little thing in your life you are thankful for. It doesn’t matter how large or how small. Be thankful for everything because nothing is granted, even if it seems like it is. Be thankful for your home, even if it isn’t perfect. Be grateful for your food, for internet access, for your friends and family – literally be thankful for everything. Thank the universe you can read, thank the universe for the pen and paper you have for your list.

BUT, do not counter your thoughts of gratitude with anything negative. All you will do is cancel out the positive mindset you are developing. For example, when you write “car” on your list just be thankful that you have one. Be thankful for how it improves your life. Do not think thoughts like “I am thankful for my car. But it’s a shitty car and it sucks that I can’t afford a new one.” All this will do is make you feel worse.

Control

Now, let’s move on to our list of things we can control. There is a lot that you have the power to control in your life. Often we let one situation make us feel bad about everything. For example, we might have a job we hate and feel completely helpless. That is only one thing, though. And guess what, you can change that too. Often times we need to think of the little things we can control because it will build us up to take charge of the larger ones. It’s like setting a solid foundation for taking charge of your life. Below is a list of things you can take power of today.

“I am in Control” List

How I react to people and situations. – This is a big one because you may not have any control over how someone acts or over particular situations BUT you have complete control over how you react to it. Are you going to act in a way that only makes things worse? The way you react to anything is always a reflection of you, not someone else. Look for solutions to problems. Remove yourself from people who do nothing for you. Don’t yell, listen. Don’t put down, ignore. When you take control of your feelings and your reactions you gain so much power.

What I eat. – A lot of times we use excuses to not be in control of our diets. You have the full power of what you put into your body. Think about the foods you eat. Be mindful of the stuff you put into your body. Eat things that make you feel good. Take time to make things you like. Slow down, rushing never gets anyone anywhere. Look for recipes that fit your budget. Meal prep if you always feel inclined to eat fast food. Find ways to control your diet and make it the way you want it to be.

How I treat my body. – This is a big one. Do not ignore taking care of yourself. You have complete control over how you think of yourself and how you treat your body. Allow yourself time to sleep, work out, go to the doctor, your health is SO important. No one will take care of your body the way you have the ability to. Fight for yourself and love yourself no matter what. The moment you decide to be in love with your body – you stop feeling shame, ugly, unworthy, and those are huge when it comes to feeling helpless. Be in charge of your body and you begin to become in charge of your life.

How I treat myself. – Why are we so mean to ourselves? Treat yourself the way you treat people you love. Be kind to yourself even if it feels like no one else will. Love who you are. Do things you like to do. Don’t compromise your goals. Be patient with yourself and speak to yourself kindly. You are worth it. This is something you can begin today that can change everything.

Who I spend my time with. – Stop wasting your precious time on people who make you unhappy or hold you back. You can, in fact, tell people you do not want to hang out with them. You do not have to be around people who bring you down. My dad used to say “ I can be sad all by myself”. He meant that you don’t need people in your life who treat you like crap or who make you feel like you are not good enough. If they are not making your life better by being in it, time to let them go. Be mindful of the people you put yourself around, also just because you distance yourself from someone or need space doesn’t mean you don’t love that individual. You can love people from afar.

What I do with my spare time. – You may feel like you have no time. But, I guarantee you do. Think about everything you do in a day. Keep track of what you do hour by hour. Are you spending an hour lost on social media? Have you sunk time into mindlessly watching TV when you could have picked up the book you keep saying you are going to read? We can get distracted easily and lose track of time. Find ways you can use your time wisely. Set limits to how much time you spend on mindless tasks. Observe ways you can use your time differently so that you can do more of what you like or absolutely need to get done.

How clean my home is. – This is something that is important to some of us and not so much to others (and this is ok). Even if you are not in your dream home, you can control how it looks and how tidy it is. Think creatively about what you can do with your space to make it a place you want to be in. Make time, if only for 20 minutes a day to make changes to your space that make you happy. Get rid of junk you don’t need. Make it smells good and super cozy. Create a haven for yourself no matter how big or small or even if it is just a portion of your home, make that part yours.

When I sleep. – Getting enough sleep can drastically change your mood. When you are rested you are better equipped to handle the day. Take control of when you sleep and make time to nap, yes nap, if you need it. A 20-minute nap does wonders. Slow down and figure out why you do not get enough sleep and figure out how you can change this.

My thoughts. – THIS IS MASSIVE. Your thoughts control you. They do. With the right mindset, you can do anything. If you tell yourself you have no control over your life you won’t do anything to make it better. If you tell yourself that things will never get better or talk everything down your life will never improve. Lift yourself up. Think proactively about how you can find a way. Think about all of the aspects of yourself you can control and start taking them over. Slowly get bolder and take charge of more and more aspects of your life. Before you know it you will believe 100% you have the power to change or do anything.

These are just a few examples of things you have power over in your life. There are so many more items you can add to your list. The things you put on it can depend on person to person. Make your list something personal and yours. You have control of your self-worth, who you date, how you do your hair, how you speak to people, the type of music you listen to, what you read – the list keeps going. Take your power back. Start being grateful for who you are and recognize that you are worth everything you desire in this life!